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build a rocket ship and then fly it far away

her childhood wasn't a childhood
like most
it was a childhood filled with crushed dreams, lost hope
the feeling of permanent desperation,
having to grow up too quickly 
and seeing things no child should see

and as she grew up she felt trapped 
like inside a shell, her own shell
which she found hard to escape
she thought she was strange,
they would call her a 'freak, weird, quiet'
and so she got used to it
but they made her feel small
so she would ease her way back into
her shell each time
and there was this burning hold inside of her which
increased until she could barely breathe
so she closed her eyes
and counted to 10
and hoped that the burning of hell would end

but one day,
something inside her clicked,
like a new found power or hope
she opened her eyes and
stepped out of her shell
and realised that she was the one who had control
not her mind
not the people around her
not her demons
it was her all along
and so she decided to build
a persona 
of strength and determination
of pride and distinctiveness 
and with every little (or big)
fire ball someone threw at her,
hurtful words which would usually 
etch themselves onto her skin like scars,
she would grow from a small timid flower
into a bright red rose
with the thorns to protect her
from the evils of the world

and at almost 18
when the world around her said
'you have to decide on your future'
'you can't do this, you can't do that'
'you have to be bigger'
after a life of being told what to do
and being told she's too small
to do this or that
she decided to finishing building her
rocket ship
so that when the time comes
she would be able to fly it far away
and find a place where she belongs
and say 'I made it'

meaning: build your own rocket ship (in this piece, the rocket ship is yourself, your persona, you. keep building yourself, and then one day, you'll be big enough and strong enough to be able to fly it far away and do exactly what you want.)

Until next time, be you and keep smiling.



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